I'm so sorry I don't even have a good title for this
by eely
Summary: I was given a prompt in creative writing and that somehow inspired me to write the au where Erwin and Levi are serial killers. I'm not sure if this really belongs in the "Crime" category but I don't actually care.


in creative writing we were given the prompt "a classy-dressed escaped convict" and then my mind did some stupid ass shit and now, in the wise words of drake, started from the bottom now were here

do i have to put a disclaimer telling you not to be a serial killer. ok this is a work of fiction and does not condone murder it is purely artistic expression and any relation to real life events is entirely coincidental

dont murder people youll go to jail

xxx

"Well, don't you look nice." Erwin commented. Levi looked up at him, and narrowed his eyes.

"Shut up, I just barely escaped holding, you're lucky I'm here right now." he said, pulling his jacket together to button it.

"I suppose I am." the taller man replied, watching the shorter do his buttons up. Levi finally finished buttoning them, it had been a little difficult, since the jacket was a little tight. It wasn't his, after all. He was wearing it as to not look like a serial killer who had just sneaked out of the local police station, where he was supposed to be questioned for the murder of a young man.

"You think I could mess with your hair a little, so they won't take you in again?" Erwin asked after a little while. Levi shook his head.

"No way. Besides, it wasn't even me who killed the guy. I just have to lay low for a while, by then they'd surely catch the real culprit, they're not as stupid as people make them out to be," Levi replied, "Anyway, don't you remember the last time you tried to change my hairstyle? It didn't go over very well." He thought of the time Erwin attempted to give him a different haircut than his usual one, but quickly stopped, as it's something he didn't want to be reminded of. Erwin must have been remembering the same thing, as a small laugh escaped him.

"Don't worry, I remember." he said.

"Right. Okay, let's get out of here before they start looking for me, they might find you, too." Levi told him, raising his eyebrows at him, widening his eyes a little to let Erwin know he was being completely serious. Erwin touched Levi's shoulder.

"Alright, let's go." he said, his hand leaving the other man's shoulder and lead the way to safety.

Levi had begun to get cold. He was much smaller than Erwin, a little below the average height, and due to their constant "on the run" status, he was a bit too thin. He shivered.

"Hm?" Erwin turned around to look at him. Erwin was fairly large, and had come prepared most of the time, having a least two coats when they had been settled in at a place for a while. "Are you cold?" he asked him.

Levi looked up at him. "Nah, I'm shaking 'cause I'm scared of the cops. Of course I'm cold, dipshit." he clutched his arms, signaling that he was actually cold, and not just fucking with his partner.

Erwin smiled and handed Levi his spare coat. He began to put it on, and realized, like all the other coats Erwin lended him, it was exceptionally big on him.

"You know, you should really not buy for yourself so much. I don't know the last time I actually had a coat in my size." Levi knows this won't offend Erwin, since Erwin knows that Levi enjoys wearing his coats. He wasn't sure why it was a nice feeling, since Erwin didn't have a scent, so the whole, "it smells like you," thing was out. He didn't think it mattered though, and left it at, "I enjoy wearing your coats because I love you."

He pulled the coat tighter around him, and closed his eyes for a while. He was starting to feel warm already. He reopened his eyes and began walking again.

"Are we going back to that place we got, or are we gonna hide out somewhere else?" he asked, when he realized he actually didn't know where Erwin was planning to go.

"I don't believe they got a very good look at your face, Levi, so we're going back to the apartment," Erwin chuckled after saying that, "Can you believe that? Most people wouldn't believe that two serial killers have been able to afford an apartment."

"Yeah, but it'd make it easier for them if we told them it was because you were born to a rich family."

"You think they'd believe we're in love?"

They walked in silence for about a minute, with Levi thinking how to answer that.

"They would probably believe, with you being rich, and me being poor, that I'm with you for your money." he answered.

"Ahh, you'd probably be right."

They reached the apartment building, and Erwin turned to face Levi. He looked at him, tilting his head, and put his hand on his read and ruffled his hair a little bit, a sign of affection.

"They'd be wrong if they believed that, you know." he said, moving his hand to caress Levi's face.

Levi leaned in to Erwin's touch. "Yeah, I know. I don't think it really matters if they believe it or not, though."

Erwin leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. "I know."

They stood there for a while, a little embarrassed at their display of affection, even though it was late and not many people we around. Levi took Erwin's hand in his and led him up the steps to their apartment building.

Levi made his way to his and Erwin's apartment, his fingers still intertwined with the taller man's. He stopped in front of the door and looked back at Erwin.

"You've got both our keys, haven't you?" he asked.

"I sure do," Erwin said, putting his free hand in his pocket and pulling out Levi's key. "Here you are."

Levi took it out of Erwin's hand and slid it in the lock, turned it, and opened the door.

"Thanks." he put his key on the counter next to the fridge, which is where it usually rested. He noticed something was weird, a different sensation than when he usually put his key down. He looked back to see that Erwin was still holding his hand.

"You can...let go of that, now, if you want." Levi told him, raising an eyebrow. Erwin slowly released Levi's hand, still looking at it after his was back closer near his own body.

Levi walked up to the cupboard and opened it, looking for something to eat. Too bad there wasn't much in there. Erwin's family provided a lot of money, but they made sure not to rely too much on that. They both had steady jobs, that accommodated their strange lifestyle. Two serial killers in love, living as a normal couple in a city. No one suspected a thing.

"Are you tired?" he heard Erwin ask. He looked over at him.

"Ah...Yes, actually, I am tired…" he closed the cupboards as he said this, and finally removed the jacket his boyfriend had given him, and laid it on the couch.

Erwin walked closer to Levi, and wrapped his arms around him. He stroked his hair for a while, and Levi leaned on to his chest. He closed his eyes.

"I could fall asleep right now, actually." Levi said quietly. Erwin loosened his grip and pulled back. He began moving toward their bedroom, "Well, it'd be much better to sleep in a bed, wouldn't it?" he gestured for Levi to follow him. Levi almost smiled and made his way to the bedroom, following him.

They unmade the bed, pulling down the covers and sliding under them. Levi naturally slept curled up into himself, and his hands often wandered to cling to Erwin, which is what he did. Erwin smiled and slept on his right side, putting his arms around his smaller partner.

Erwin angled his head down and pressed a kiss to the top of Levi's head, and got comfortable again.

xxx

do i still have to tell you not to murder people

dont murder its illegal


End file.
